I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
