I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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