i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
