So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
