Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
...so i touched it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
