I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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