Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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