Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
