Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
