I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
