He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
