I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
