im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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