Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
