Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
