margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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