i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
how does that bad decision feel?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
