Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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