after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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