why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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