in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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