two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
