I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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