i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
