He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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