First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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