Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
