You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
