I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she peed on how many people?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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