how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
