When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
