We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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