Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Randomize
