He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
