Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
