So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
