Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
