My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
