Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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