okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
