Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
