Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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