So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
