Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
