I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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