There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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