you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
