Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
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