You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
