I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My Sexting was not on an AP level
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
