why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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